Emotional day = not the best choices

I think I like posting my food in the morning. We’ll see how long that lasts. I suspect once I get a laptop, I’ll enjoy posting in the evening while watching TV. ๐Ÿ˜‰

So, yesterday started off fine but then I had a really emotional day.

My beloved Fage, with a Cinnamon flavored Nature Valley granola bar. Mmmm.

Nursing home lunch!

Note the white bread with butter up in the top. ::gag:: I did not eat that. I did eat the raspberry sherbet though!

Close up on the plate:

Turkey with gravy, sweet potatoes, and beets.

When I got home, I had to finish up the divorce papers. That got emotional, and I ate a bag of popcorn and some yogurt and it didn’t occur to me to photograph. Sorry.

Then I coached Girls on the Run. We ended at 4:00. I mapped out where the court house was, dashed over, went into a few wrong entrances, and finally found the family law clerk’s window at 4:25. With 5 minutes to spare, the lady informed me that I did not have enough copies and they weren’t stapled properly, and to come back tomorrow. They open at 8. I’m supposed to be at the Sonoma nursing home at 8ish, which is in the opposite direction. But my entire week is packed full, and then I move! I burst out in tears outside the courthouse and called my mom. Then I went to Staples, made the copies, and went home.

At home, I tried to tell my ex about how I do not appreciate him not helping at all. He did not help clean to get the security deposit back. He has told me to “just get the divorce over with as fast as possible” and won’t help or fill out any paperwork or take time off HIS job to do anything (his job is about 1 mile from the courthouse). He hasn’t even paid his half of the utility bill and internet bill from last month! (I paid it, of course).

His response was that I was “hysterical” and he left for 3 hours and refused to talk to me or acknowledge that he’s been no help and I am doing everything alone. Same as the marriage, I suppose. After he left, I really did feel hysterical. I cried more, screamed into a pillow, called my mom again. After that I cooked a frozen pizza:

And ate the whole thing. All 3 servings.

At least it had broccoli on top? =/

Not a good way to deal with emotions. I’m kind of ashamed, because this blog is about making healthy choices through this divorce, and after the divorce, when I’m on my own, and this wasn’t the best I could have done. Better than many other options, yes, but not a good showing.

I closed myself off in the bedroom at 7:30 with a magazine and my cell phone and surfed blogs from there. I went to sleep around 9:00. And this morning, it’s back to the courthouse I go. I really hope I can get my forms filed today. It’s going to make me about 2 hours late to work, which means I’ll have to work 2 hours later to make up for it. This is really wearing on me.

Only 4 more days living here. And tonight I’m staying at Brooke’s house (the place I’m moving to) because tomorrow I’m working in Concord (closer to her than me). So, only three more nights in my house. Thank god. I’m really nervous about my upcoming life change, but I know that it is not healthy for me here.

4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. jenn
    Oct 27, 2009 @ 08:51:25

    emotional eating may not be the best thing to do in the eyes of someone losing weight. however, in the eyes of psychology, it’s okay to do it sometimes. (i’ll even show you were it says it in my book :P) and IMHO, your mental health is much more important than a few pounds at this point.

    i’m sorry that david is being like this. it’s going to get better, i promise.

    i love you.


  2. thebalancebroad
    Oct 27, 2009 @ 10:23:51

    First of all, I don’t think I know a single person who has gone through a divorce (or break-up, or death, or any kind of life changing experience) who has NOT used food at some point to cope. Whether it’s binging, restricting, or just loss of appetite – I think it’s perfectly normal to go through this.

    That said, I know we are our own worst critics. The GOOD news is that you are not doing this everyday – AND you are so active and healthy otherwise. One slip-up is really nothing in the grand scheme of things, but I do know it will get easier as time goes on. Once you move, and get settled, and get the divorce finalized….it will get easier. Hang in there. ๐Ÿ™‚


  3. sherijung
    Oct 27, 2009 @ 10:40:47

    Oh my gosh, please give yourself a break, at least for this week. Your eating did not include the combination of the words ‘pint’ and ‘ice cream’ (or even drive-thru!) so you are doing great. I’m impressed, actually. You kept your planned workout with GOTR, also impressive. Try to count the wins more than the losses.


  4. kilax
    Oct 27, 2009 @ 10:48:03

    A big part of the healthy life style is allowing yourself these “slips,” so don’t feel bad. You’re going through a lot ๐Ÿ™‚ You’re almost there!


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